| Wow...I haven't been around these parts since May of last year. Do you think it's worth getting back on here to say I'M GETTING MARRIED?!!!!!! I thought so too.
Mrs. Brad Unger, here I freaking come!
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| HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY OLD TIMER!
I love you with all of my heart :) |
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| As some of you know, my work moved locations about six weeks ago. Where as we used to be located in downtown, you’re-guaranteed-to-get-shot-sooner-or-later York, we are now in West York Borough, right smack in the middle of a residential neighborhood. While a lot of good has come from this move, I can’t help but get perturbed when I think of the one blinding bad spot. My neighbors across the street are rednecks. The warm weather seems to be bringing out more redneck-ish behavior than usual...and of course it's outdoors..and right across from my window. Last week they had some sort of redneck ho-down with country music, rebel-yelling and much revving of car/truck engines. They like loud stuff over there. They like to rev-up their engines like...roooorrr, roooorrr..on and on. They never really go anywhere they just rev up engines real loud. I have decided that they must have severe sexual dysfunction. Premature ejaculation for sure. Most likely micro-penis as well. Men that do nothing but sit around and rev up the engines of their huge trucks and motorcycles but never go anywhere but around the block almost always have tiny penises that they have no control over whatsoever. Not that I care about their sexual performance, it’s just an observation.
As I typing up a report this afternoon, I hear one of the redneck asshats roar up on the motorcycle after revving it up for an hour and then riding around the block. I look at the window and he's got a gut on him like he's 11 months pregnant with triplets and he yells at his teen daughter sitting in the van; "Where's my BEER?!". I'm thinking to myself; "Is this asshat guy Archie Bunker's illegitimate redneck love child or what?” The daughter scurries out of the van and runs the beer to him. Ok. As he hobbles away he yells at the wife, girlfriend or whatever she is; "And don't hit my bike either...or I'll kick your ass". Real nice. I laughed to myself because he was walking worse than Daffy Duck. He was hobbling around like his ass was out of joint and carrying a belly the size of Texas and he's threatening to kick some woman's ass. Please. I could kick HIS butt ten times over. Men like this I tell ya. Due to their huge amounts of male privilege they think they own the world strutting around like dainty roosters and you take one look at a guy like that and it's just truly hilarious. He thinks he is THE SHIT but pathetic is not even the word. Such delusions. Honestly. |
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| Officially anyway...
I took the afternoon off work and got myself a real live yankee doodle Pennsylvania driver's license! I'll have lived here a full YEAR next month. Here is the new license
How is it that the drivers license bureau always takes the worst pictures of a person ever? Do they have special revulsion cameras? |
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| Upon hearing that Skyler Bartels, a Drake University student, spent 41 consecutive hours of his Spring Break vacation in the local Wal-Mart, Kevin Thornton, the stores represinitive, had this to say:
"We have 3,800 locations in the U.S. One-hundred million people go through our stores every week," he said. "Wal-Mart is part of the fabric of life and this kind of reiterates that."
HAHAHAHA. Wal-Mart is part of the fabric of life? What a bunch of freaking RETARDS! |
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